A letter to my son | Jess Evans Photography

 

Its just gone 7, i’ve finally sat down after what feels like the longest day in history. I’m exhausted. I feel broken. I’m all kinds of stressed. So far, since putting you in your bed, you’ve been out 5 times, and poked that little head round the corner more times than I could count. You think I can’t see you, but I can. You tell me you want just one more ‘squeezy huggle’. You know I need one, you know me better than anyone.

My sweet boy,  I know sometimes I don’t have the time to sit with you and play superheroes. I know sometimes I sneak into the kitchen for five minutes of peace, thinking you wont realise. I know sometimes I get angry, and my patience runs thin, for what may seem to be no reason at all. And I know that hurts you. But I don’t mean it.

Being a parent is hard. Really hard. It’s hard because we are supposed to be the ones who know everything, who can guide you and teach you lessons you’ll need in life to be a better person. We are responsible for bringing you up, and making sure you have the best possible childhood, and choose the right path. We have to do things ‘right’, because we only get one chance. But what is right? How am I meant to know if i’m doing whats best for you? No amount of parenting books, classes and late night googling could ever prepare me for the things you throw at me on a daily basis.

But actually, when I sit and think about it, it is you that is teaching all of the lessons. Not me. You have taught me how to love. How to love unconditionally. Even when the terrible two’s were in full force and instead of being calm in the middle of the supermarket, I just wanted to leave you there and run, I walked you to the car, cuddled you, told you how much I loved you, and apologised for even considering it. And then the threenager hits. For all of the times you’ve shouted at me, and told me you don’t like me anymore, I still hold you tight, and tell you that I will always love you, no matter what. Because I do. You are everything to me. My whole entire world, and I love you unconditionally. When days are tough, and nights are never ending, when I feel like everything and everyone is against me, when I just want time alone to breathe, you are always on my mind. I never stop thinking about you, and I want you to know that I never will. You will always be my little boy. My first born. The person that lifts me up, even on the darkest of days. You are my priority sweet boy, and I’m sorry that I don’t always show you that.

You wont remember me rocking you back and forth, stroking that button nose. You wont remember the times I kissed those little cheeks. You wont remember me holding that little hand, as you walked with me. You wont remember me tickling those little feet, and the sheer happiness on my face as you giggle louder and louder. You wont remember how much you healed me, and showed me how to live. And i know you wont remember how hard I tried. But I will, and I hope one day you’ll know just how much you mean to me.

Being a parent is about learning the strengths you thought you never had, and dealing with the fears you didn’t know existed. Some days you might feel like you’ve failed. Like everything you are doing is wrong. You probably feel a sense of guilt; whether its because you lost your temper, or you don’t feel like you spend enough time at home playing dress up, or because you simply just can’t cope with the stress that is parenthood. We all do. But I can tell you this now, you have not failed. You are a great parent. You can do this, and you are not alone.

So for everything you have taught me, my sweet little boy, thank you. You are special to me, and you are so loved.

Forever and always,

Mummy X

 

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Cake-Smash Sessions

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Can you believe it? You are planning for your baby’s first birthday! Probably one of the most important milestones in your baby’s life, and it is so bittersweet. Your child is growing up, with their own little personality that you adore so much. You want to remember this age, and a cake-smash is the perfect way to capture your ever-growing toddler, in a fun and exciting way. I have a variety of packages to choose from; add on milestone images, where I can photograph your little one before the mess. And our very popular ‘bath time splash’, which is a strong favourite for the children.

I offer a stripped back version of a cake-smash, with less fuss, and more focus on your gorgeous baby, enjoying their very first birthday memory. My wonderful cake-maker creates beautiful ‘naked’ cakes, with less buttercream, less colouring and sugar, and perfect for little ones to get messy with that taste incredible!

testimonial3If you would like further information on our Cake-Smash sessions, please just send me an email and I can send you over a detailed booklet, which includes information on how our cake smashes work, and our variety of packages.

To book, or discuss your cake smash theme ideas, please visit our contact page!

If you would like to view more of my Cake- Smash work, please follow the link here to our gallery.

Our current 2017 prices:

cake-smash-pricing-sheet

 *Please note, all sessions require a small non-refundable retainer deposit. The rest can be paid on the day of your shoot. If you cannot make your chosen day, for whatever reason, then we will do everything we can to reschedule. Cancellations with less than 24hr notice, may be subject to an extra fee*

Babies & Beyond Sessions

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Babies

Your baby changes so much within the first year, hitting huge milestones along the way. All of a sudden, that tiny newborn has grown into a gorgeous, happy, bouncing bundle of smiles and its the perfect time to capture them. My baby sessions are perfect from around 4months+, when baby has strong head control, is more independent and full of precious smiles. I recommend booking before your little one is on the move, crawling or walking. But don’t worry if that tiny window has passed, I testimonial2have plenty of experience with active little explorers!

These sessions usually last around an hour, but I will work to your babies schedule, to ensure we get those big, wide eyed smiles. I have a huge selection of props, and I am more than happy to work with you if you have things you’d like to interpret into your session. These are your photos, and I want them to be perfect for your family.

I like to keep baby photos very neutral and pure, so please dress baby is soft coloured clothing, such as creams, whites, pale blues, greys or pinks. We want eyes to be focused completely on them, so nothing too bold and distracting works best.

Toddlers

This age can sometimes be forgotten; your toddler is full of life, energy and probably a little bit of attitude too, but thats what I love about them! They have so much imagination, and I feel like it needs to be remembered. A personality can really shine through a photograph, and that is what I aim to capture in my toddler sessions. I recommend booking a toddler session between 18m-4 years.

These sessions are very relaxed, with no real time frame. We interact, play games and most importantly have fun! I understand that toddlers don’t always want to cooperate, which is why we take plenty of breaks in between, so they usually don’t even realise what I’m doing.

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Again, I like to keep my images very neutral, so all the attention goes to your child. This is why I find natural, pale coloured clothing works best. Keep it simple. I also love the timeless black and white photographs. They show your child and their beautiful face, and nothing else. If this is something you’d like to include in your session, then please just let me know, and don’t forget a black t-shirt.

To book, please visit our contact page and get in touch!

If you would like to view more of my Baby & Beyond work, please visit the link here to my gallery.

 

Our current 2017 prices:

babies-and-beyond-pricing-sheet

*Please note, all sessions require a small non-refundable retainer deposit. The rest can be paid on the day of your shoot. If you cannot make your chosen day, for whatever reason, then we will do everything we can to reschedule. Cancellations with less than 24hr notice, may be subject to an extra fee*